This is Shadow, Maddie's #1 horse; she qualified for finals on him last Sunday... he has been hurt, and limping since before going to Mississippi, but he was her best chance at winning. So they had been stretching his leg, and wrapping it daily, and he gave it his all, and performed as if he wasn't hurt, but Maddie just got so excited about her perfect run, that she overcompensated that last barrel, and down it went. She is really beating herself up over the whole thing; she says she just can't believe out of 6 runs, she only had one good time. She is really so consistent- never hitting a barrel, so she is just in shock. I have to say I am really disappointed in her dad, and his girlfriend. When we got to Mississippi, Maddie was sitting on the ground, in tears. We took her to our hotel, and she continued to tell us how Brad & Kim had been talking to her, and threatening to just take her home and not letting her continue to compete. Brad would tell her to lighten up, and so she ran around with her friends, laughing and playing, and he got mad at her for not concentrating on why she was there. She sat in the trailer, prayed, read her bible on one day, and he told her she was isolating herself from everyone, and that was not good for her??? Can you see how confused that could make anyone? Let alone a 14-yr-old??? She just cried and cried the whole time- we felt so bad for her. I tell her all the time that it's not her; that her dad is a very controlling, very contradictory person. I don't bad-mouth him to the kids, but I do try and explain to Maddie that THAT is why we are not married anymore. He had a way of talking to me that made me feel so small, so stupid; and I knew that he would eventually do the same to Maddie. I hate to talk about him this way, but he has put so much pressure on Maddie, that it did affect her performance. After Maddie would have a run...Kim & Brad wouldn't speak to her for hours afterwards; like they were mad at her, or ashamed, and that just compounded Maddie's hurt feelings. He kept telling her that he sacrificed so much to take her there, and how broke he is now, and how she doesn't deserve any of it. We are all just so heartbroken over the whole experience... She is going to end up resenting him, just as I did; and she'll end up wanting to be as far away from him as she can get... it's sad, and I don't want that for my girls... all we can do is pray...and be thankful that Mark can teach my girls what it means to be loved, unconditionally...thank God for him.
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